I have heard people say that being a parent is the most rewarding and most difficult job ever. Four months into this twin thing and it is definitely the most amazing thing I have ever done. Every day is amazing. Every day is the best. Now granted there are more challenging days when I get frustrated with myself because I want to do the dishes or a load of laundry or clean my house the way I like it to be cleaned and I just can’t get to it. I have been getting better at just letting it go. Dishes and laundry will always be there and we are lucky to be able to pay for housekeepers.
Two babies is not the most difficult part to me. It’s the decisions. The choices that I make. I understand the importance of vaccines. I know they are a necessary evil, if you will. I just still feel terrible after their shots. I helicopter over the boys and note every slight little change in their moods, demeanor, behaviors, etc…
Little A was focused with intent as a newborn. He always observed and looked around and was content most of the time. After his first round of vaccines, he changed a bit. He became less focused and more spacey (if that is the correct word to describe him). He also became more fussy. I feel there are a couple of explanations for the differences I notice. One, he was such a young newborn (born at 37 weeks 2 days) that he hadn’t really ‘woken up’ yet. Two, we are inadvertently comparing him to Little H because with twins it’s hard not too. He is smaller than Little H and they reacted differently to the vaccines – just like they will probably react different to many things to come. I just wonder if I should have spread out the vaccines? I didn’t know that was an option though until I spoke with a friend. Maybe he was too little to get so many at this time? Perhaps it was the mixture of the vaccines and the Tylenol?
My point to this is, I know that skipping vaccines is not really the best choice, but maybe the doctors can be upfront with the information that we as parents can spread out the vaccine schedule more. Or not start vaccines until they reach a certain weight as opposed to meeting the age of two months. I have twins and they are not the same size, so age might not be the proper vaccine protocol. I know that now when we get their shots we are going to take a slightly different approach. We are spreading them out. We are forgoing Tylenol unless they are exhibiting a lot of pain. (Edit: we skipped Tylenol for the last round of shots and they did absolutely fine. Cried right after the initial stick, but we fed them and they were happy and acting normal after a good nap.)
These decisions will likely never get easier, but I will just continue to do the best I can as their mom. And in the mean time, soak up every bit of their moments!